Process

I can’t really blame anyone. I fall into it myself. Truth- it’s a hard thing to do. That’s right, truth can be a verb. Amazing concept, but quite simple really. With some people, it’s something taken over the top. Anything and everything has to have their opinion on it…whether it’s nice or not. With others, they have to be nice. They want everyone to like them and get along. Because if one wrong word is said, then the friendship might go up in smokes. Then there’s the ones that are centered. They know when to say the right things, and when not to care about what they say.
Then there’s the truth of what you are. You have to put on a mask for everyone. No one can see the real you. The real person that is Joe Smith. That the physical and emotional bruises on your body and life have to be hidden- for fear of being seen as weak. Weak isn’t ‘cool’ or ‘popular’. Whether your heart was broken or you were raped, you can’t show it because that’s a weakness. Whether or not that word hurt you deeply or not, can’t be shown- oh no. Because you have to keep the peace! You have to stay sweet and calm. Whether or not your friendships are falling, your standards are slipping, you have to keep that face! You have to be what everyone else wants you to be! You have to be perfect! You have to live up to other’s expectations. You have to be as tough as them. If that slanderous word they used wouldn’t hurt them- it can’t hurt you.
It doesn’t matter if you feel worthless to people who you thought loved you- you have to keep that face. You have to pretend that the word ‘bitch’ and ‘cunt’ and ‘F you’ doesn’t mean anything.

It’s just too bad if it does.